Dear Diary,
Wow, a lot has happened since just yesterday. Yesterday morning I was dealing with an animal abuse situation which pushed my buttons. I don't condone any cruelty to any animals, or human being. The whole situation knocked me into having to deal with my own anger. Because of it all I ended up feeling numb for a few hours until I could talk it out with my Aunt, and one of my dearest friends so that I could deal with my anger. By the time I looked at the clock I realized it was getting late, and the medium circle that I started to attend once a month was going to start within an hour. I also realized that I had not made a reservation so I called the store The Power of the Rainbow that was hosting the circle, and let them know I was coming. The connection was really bad on the phone as it kept going in, and out finally Tray the owner said to just come on, and we would take care of the paperwork when I got there.
The medium circle is lead by David Scott a local medium in Arlington, TX. I have to admit I really enjoy the circle, and the way that he works with his students. David started the group by giving a short lecture which covered dealing with our own fears. Then he reminded us that if we are to do this work we have to be really open to unconditional love, and clear out our heart chakra. I knew in that moment I was thinking, "Great....." I was not feeling the warm fuzzes with my heart after the morning's event.
During the whole class I could feel, and see flashes of people coming into the circle from the other world. I was trying my best to clear out my emotions, and feel the love. I did come to some place were I felt I belonged, and love spread through me for a few moments, but there was no joy. I couldn't find the joy. I think somewhere I felt let down by the cruelty in the world, and it was still hiding out in my heart. I felt blocked, heavy, and stuck in my own emotions.
Another women in the group later on voiced that she was experiencing a heaviness, and a blockage that wouldn't allow her to get messages. Several people spoke up to help her who had been practicing for years. I think what really hit me last night was what one women said was that,"One of the main things that people should know is if they are working on being a communicator they have to deal with their own Crap". She went on to explain that when you are communicating with spirit you need to know what is them, and what is you. She also mentioned that, "Many people who are learning to do this work will also find that their crap will come up, and they have to work on healing it. It is just part of it, and what will eventually lead to a good communicator."
David also said, "that the heart Chakra is the bridge into the other world, and if you are not connected with that unconditional love then you will experience a breakdown in the connection." Again I went internally into myself, and looked at my own blockage. I could see, and feel the people in the room on both sides, but was not able to communicate with my heart. When I checked in again I realized I was numb. I had shut down, and I had felt that if my heart was closed then I would not feel the pain that I felt this morning. This was strange as I was in a room with so many people who were full of love, but I was still shut down. Wow, I still have so much to learn, and I need to work on my heart energy.
Wow, a lot has happened since just yesterday. Yesterday morning I was dealing with an animal abuse situation which pushed my buttons. I don't condone any cruelty to any animals, or human being. The whole situation knocked me into having to deal with my own anger. Because of it all I ended up feeling numb for a few hours until I could talk it out with my Aunt, and one of my dearest friends so that I could deal with my anger. By the time I looked at the clock I realized it was getting late, and the medium circle that I started to attend once a month was going to start within an hour. I also realized that I had not made a reservation so I called the store The Power of the Rainbow that was hosting the circle, and let them know I was coming. The connection was really bad on the phone as it kept going in, and out finally Tray the owner said to just come on, and we would take care of the paperwork when I got there.
During the whole class I could feel, and see flashes of people coming into the circle from the other world. I was trying my best to clear out my emotions, and feel the love. I did come to some place were I felt I belonged, and love spread through me for a few moments, but there was no joy. I couldn't find the joy. I think somewhere I felt let down by the cruelty in the world, and it was still hiding out in my heart. I felt blocked, heavy, and stuck in my own emotions.
Another women in the group later on voiced that she was experiencing a heaviness, and a blockage that wouldn't allow her to get messages. Several people spoke up to help her who had been practicing for years. I think what really hit me last night was what one women said was that,"One of the main things that people should know is if they are working on being a communicator they have to deal with their own Crap". She went on to explain that when you are communicating with spirit you need to know what is them, and what is you. She also mentioned that, "Many people who are learning to do this work will also find that their crap will come up, and they have to work on healing it. It is just part of it, and what will eventually lead to a good communicator."
David also said, "that the heart Chakra is the bridge into the other world, and if you are not connected with that unconditional love then you will experience a breakdown in the connection." Again I went internally into myself, and looked at my own blockage. I could see, and feel the people in the room on both sides, but was not able to communicate with my heart. When I checked in again I realized I was numb. I had shut down, and I had felt that if my heart was closed then I would not feel the pain that I felt this morning. This was strange as I was in a room with so many people who were full of love, but I was still shut down. Wow, I still have so much to learn, and I need to work on my heart energy.
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